Get Outta Here!!!!

Yesterday I posted about an incident that happened over the weekend. Well, today I had to go to the police station to press formal charges. And now I am PISSED!!! For one they released this nut with no regard to my safety at all and I found out that he was a heroin user, that’s his new charge “Drug Possession” and possibly “Criminal Trespass.” They never told me his name or offered any advice, protection or anything. This may have been random but who knows that for sure. I just felt like (1) They didn’t believe my story, (2) They thought I was a druggie too, and (3) I knew really him. That nut can show up here again if he wants too. He thought that broom was rough, I have something rougher. I ain’t playin’.

I beat myself up all day yesterday for even falling asleep with the window open. The more I thought about it the worse I felt. Now all that has turned to pure anger. I won’t get caught slippin like that ever again. The sad thing is now I have to keep my windows closed and everytime I hear something outside I get a little edgy. I didn’t sleep well last night. My youngest slept with me and every time he moved I jumped. I refuse to live like this and I am not going to let this run me out of my house, my safe haven. I have a few phone calls to make come Tuesday and a friend is going to stay around for a few days just to ease my mind. Plus, I have some shopping to do and a license to get (that’s all in the works). It’s on, I am not going to let this go till I feel like justice was served.

It Coulda Been Me…

It is 5am and I am sitting here writing trying to hold it together. I can’t sleep, I woke up to the shock of my life at about 2am. I woke up to a stranger in my bed. I went to be last night and forgot to close my front window. Some strange drunk guy came in the window and climbed in my bed. I don’t know how long he was there I just know he was there when I woke up. My daughter went to bed about 1am, so between then and the time I woke he came in. I immediately called 911 and my friend who lives down the street, then grabbed a broom and began to beat the guy. This is nuts!!!

How many times have you watched the news and saw crazy things happen with intruders? Well, today I became that one you see on the news. I am in shock right now, I don’t know what to think, what to say, what to do… I thank God because this could have been a whole lot worse but yet and still this is way toooooo much.

Supermom

Yesterday I came in contact with a little kryptonite. Yesterday, as usual I went to class straight from work. My youngest (Lil Bill) had basketball practice, last week he and the girl walked home from practice. This week the girl had a paper to type so I took her home. My brother was supposed to pick Lil Bill up from practice he got out at 6:30 I don’t break till 7. So, when I got out I called home to see if he was there yet. He wasn’t so I then called my brother, no answer the 5 times I called. So, me and my cuz (she goes to school with me) shoot around to the center. And low and behold, there is Lil Bill standing outside, it was 7:15, he said he was getting ready to walk home (by himself). My brother finally called at about 9:30 he fell asleep.

I was just a tad bit frustrated so now I need to make arrangements with the center for him to stay till 7 and I pick him up. There is another team practicing at 7 so there is still someone there. I felt so bad, but Lil Bill is a trooper he knew I didn’t forget him. He was still just as happy go lucky as ever. I need to formulate a plan A, B, C, and D.  It’s all coming together, slowly but surely it is.

On another note… Yesterday we actually started working out in my weight training class. I had a really good work out. It felt good. I figured on not being able to move this morning but it was alright when I got up. I messed around and laid back down for a few and now I have the pain in that radiates from my shoulder down the back of my arm to my elbow. It is not mind numbing pain but a annoying pain. I am just going to keep stretching it and hope it goes away by tomorrow. I start back on my walking schedule on tomorrow by January you won’t recognize me. I am going to take some before and after pictures and I will post them when I get down to my goal weight. I am excited, really excited.

The Truth or a Lie

“All scripture is given by inspiration of God…” (2 Timothy 3:16). What a statement! This verse states that the Bible is the unique literary product of divine origin, not the results of mere human genius. But, is this claim true? Over the years, scholars have collected evidence to support the Bible’s claim of inspiration, while others have attempted to discredit its divine authorship. Today the debate continues.

I am taking a class right now that on the 2nd night of class had every person who ever went to church walking silently to their cars. I tossed, turned, and pondered the things brought to light in that class all night. Scientifically, we do not even know if the Bible is true, and we probably never will. But, by faith every believer knows that it is completely true, right? Sitting in this class, I wondered how those who were not completely solid in their faith felt. I know I felt like my faith, the faith in everything I was ever taught was being tested. There were a few in my class who were defensive and began to argue the case, but it proved fruitless against a teacher who was obviously armed for such a fight. There was a time in my life that I would been wavering and unsure about some of these challenges, but at this point I have decided that the promise I have in Christ is so great that I have no choice but believe what the Word says.

A few people spend their lives arguing the similarities between religion and science, while others try to tear the two apart.  I read an article and I will never forget this statement, “The question we should be asking isn’t, “Where is God in science?” but, “Where isn’t God in science?” Where can you go to get away from him? How do you explain the way things are without God? His evidence is found everywhere we look.” When cornered with the fact that the science, math, history, and predictions of the Bible have never failed, don’t you think it is risky to reject its authenticity? Should we abandon logic then? No! Do I just ignore that which seems to contradict my faith? Why should I? I just believe that there is so much more to life than that which can be observed, a hope greater than the life I have today. I have good reason to believe that Jesus is the is who He is and that the Word is true, and I hold on to my faith in the face of seeming contrary evidence. When all is said and done my faith needs to be strong, but not closed to the world we live in. For a Christians to be relevant we need to be informed – and when faith is tested, we grow stronger and the reward becomes so much greater.

I Wanna Be Loved, PII

Last week we touched on the definition of love and I got many great responses. I want to finish that today. I also want to clear up some confusion first I know that the purest definition and example of love is God Himself. God is love. He, in His Person and activity, defines what love is and how it works. He provides the motivation, the model, and the manner in which we truly love each other. The point I was making is about our understanding of romantic “love”. Unfortunately, our understanding and practice of romantic love, is confused, tainted…

From a woman’s perspective most of us when we think of love we often think of knights in shining armor, riding a white horse, damsels in distress, Prince Charming, being swept off our feet, and for those still without a prince—the ladies in waiting. I remember as a little girl Snow White singing Someday My Prince Will Come:

Some day my prince will come
Some day we’ll meet again
And away to his castle we’ll go
To be happy forever I know

Some day when spring is here
We’ll find our love anew
And the birds will sing
And wedding bells will ring
Some day when my dreams come true

We grew up with this syrupy sweet view on love and we spend a lifetime searching for what we saw on the movie screen. We all know this idea of love is unrealistic, but somehow we still hope for it, dream about it, and desire it more than anything. We have watched movie after movie where perfect strangers meet, fall in love, and live happily ever after all in the span of two hours. We watch the TV sitcoms where the commercials are longer than most of the on screen relationships. We know this kind of love is not true love, but we cannot quite get it out of our minds. We are programmed to believe that, “falling in love” means finding a relationship based on mutual attraction, satisfaction, and delight. When one of the people in such relationships stops being attractive, satisfying, or delightful, we often fall out of love, walk away from that relationship, and look for another one.

So, what does real love look and feel like? Maybe it’s when two people seem to know each other for ages and even in their previous lives. They can go on talking and talking and conversation never lacks topics and never gets boring. Maybe it is the couple does not have to say anything because they understand each other without words. For them those moments, minutes and even hours of silence are never uncomfortable. Is true love when partners complete one another, when they are together it is peaceful, nothing else exists and nothing even matters. After much self-searching, I figured out that true love is building a bond that no one or no thing can break. I found that only one thing can define love — I Corinthians 13:4-8a: Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. You can achieve your dreams with your loving partner by your side.  Then you are truly in love.  This is the opportunity and challenge of love.

Slow Jammin’

Today is Friday so that means I need to be blogging about My Favorite Things. I have been trying to figure out what to post and got nothing. I left it alone for awhile and went to youtube and started listening to music. I was laughing at the music I have been listening to lately. I used to be a strictly gospel kinda girl. I have rarely listened to R&B in the last 2-3 years. I forgot how much I liked it. I am on the love song flow right now hence my top ten for this week are the top ten songs on my playlist.

10. Nothing Even Matters- Lauryn Hill feat. D’Angelo

9. For You Will- Monica

8. Sweetest Thing- Lauryn Hill (Yes, she made the list twice)

7. Never- Jaheim

6. Have You Ever- Brandy

5. With You All the Way- New Edition

4. Can’t Let Go- Anthony Hamilton

3. Caught Up in the Rapture- Anita Baker

2. All This Love- El DeBarge

1. Love- Musiq

So, if you pull up to my house more than likely you will hear these songs pouring out the windows, doors, cracks, and crevices. So, if you will excuse me I am about to turn them up and finish planning part two of my date night. So toodles till next time, enjoy your weekend!!

Will It All Fit?

My journey as Supermom is fairing well with a few adjustments. Instead of trying to do it all I have had to streamline and only doing the things that are most important…me and the kids. It is so much easier now, if it doesn’t fit the schedule it just doesn’t fit and I can’t or won’t do it. Last year I was running around like a nut trying to be all things to all people and it brought nothing but drama and stress. I lost a lot last year and almost sacrificed my time for myself and my time for my kids. I won’t be doing that ever again. My list of goals this year are centered around making things better for my household. At the completion of those goals I see a brighter future ahead.

I sat down a few weeks ago and listed all the things I did last year and I began to understand why I was so stressed out. Then I made another list of things I wanted to accomplish and the things that were important to the family. In the end the list was a lot shorter:

1) Completing my degree

2) Sports for the kids

3) Family Time

4) Me Time

5) Work

6) Church

7) (and a new one) Boyfriend Time

I have a weekly schedule, Mon-Thurs I have school those classes are in the evening, 5:45-9:40 most nights. I have a one hour break in there and I use that to pick the kids up from evening activities (or they walk home). My day, I take care of things at home: cleaning, cooking dinner, doing homework and running errands. I have a new job and I set my own schedule I spend a few hours during the day or I spend the afternoons before class at work. My job rocks because I am working at the center were my kids go after school and where their sport activities are located. My oldest is on the other side of town, he is staying at my mom’s during the week because of the busing issues (he will be home as soon as I get my 1st pay check) but we talk daily and his day is Friday. Friday is football night, so we go to his games. The youngest is in a different league this year, he is only playing on the 3rd grade team and they play on Saturdays. A few games will be during the week and I will shoot to them during my hour break. Karate has slowed down a bit and they only have tournaments on weekends when they do.

Because I have class in the evenings I only attend church on Sundays. Which for right now is going to have to work. To replace Wednesday night bible study I have been (I can catch it live when I can) following an online church. Through satellite broadcasts LifeChurch.tv is a multi-site church that through the beauty of technology sends live video feed anywhere in the world. Their internet campus is awesome. I love my church but right now because I am in class on Wednesday nights I have to find another option, and this works for me.

I have had to add something new to my time. I have something I didn’t have last year (didn’t have time for it nor was I open to it). I have a boyfriend, he’s great I have know him for over 15 years. We are working on a solid date night plan, we both are in school and he works during the day. Right now we talk a lot on the phone and see each other on the weekends. Lately we have been able to steal a little time during the day, I take him lunch a couple times during the week. Having a boyfriend is a whole ‘notha otha and we will talk about that more on Tuesdays in the Singles Digest.

As I look back and read this post my life is so much different from last year and I am happy with it. I am still busy but a good busy. A manageable busy, a tolerable busy. I don’t feel like I need to be cloned in order to function everyday. Right now I just need to tweak my daily schedule I have to set in order my cleaning schedule, grocery shopping, etc. I love this new process, it feels good to breath. It feels good to do Cice.

School Days

Yesterday as I sat in class I observed my classmates and I couldn’t help but wonder why some of them where there. The composition of my class was kind of sad. On one hand you have the career student, you know the one who has changed majors about 20 times, maxed out financial aid and are no closer to a degree than they were on day one. Then you have the group who are in their late 50s early 60s who are trying to hold on to their jobs. Let me explain that one… one of our local early childhood development programs is mandating that all their teachers have a Bachelor’s Degree, most only have an Associate’s. So now my classes are full of women close to retirement age trying to get a degree. The sad part about that is most of them are lost in a time warp. One teacher mentioned going on the Internet for a particular project and that sent them into a tizzy. They don’t know how to turn the computer on much less surf the net. Side note: I asked if the facility had wi-fi and even the people my age wanted to know what that was. OMG!!! What in the world is going on? I feel sorry for this group. Really I do.

I plan on being done in 3-4 semesters tops. I need to see just what classes they let me transfer and that will be the determining factor. I have big plans and want to have all my degrees out of the way before I turn 40. I am thankful for the push I have to do this. I have a friend who is a teacher in our local school district. Just listening to him talk about his students and how much he cares about their education is so inspiring.  This is only my first week of school and I think he is more excited than I am. He is working on his Master’s and is already talking about his PhD. So, I have some catching up to do.

I forgot how much I love being in a classroom. I don’t know what I was thinking last year when I did my stint of on-line education. I love learning and (though I won’t admit it, Beans) I am excited every time I park my car in the parking lot and head into the building. I have some great classes too. I already have a favorite though…Intro to Africans in America. This class is going to be very interesting. And I plan to keep you updated on some of the things I learn.

I Wanna Be Loved, P1

It’s Tuesday and time for Singles Digest. I have an arena to discuss somethings that single people go through and I am going to talk about the stuff nobody wants to admit out loud. And today is going to be just that…

Love is a complicated thing. We struggle over it and with it, yearn for it, write books, songs, and poems about it. But, most of us aren’t even sure what it is. So, how do we define it? Webster’s dictionary defines love as a strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties. But, that just didn’t satisfy me I kept reading trying to find a definition that explained the one little word that so many are in search of. And I ran across a few things:

• Love is putting someone above yourself. Protecting them above all else and making sure they are ok, even if that means you in a lot of pain.
• Love is that huge un-stoppable smile that goes across your face when you see the person you love.
• Love is giving someone the power to hurt you the most, but trusting them enough not to use it.

As I am sitting here writing this I am listening to one of my favorite songs by Musiq “Love” and the lyrics really have me thinking…

Love
So many people use your name in vain
Love
Those have faith in you sometimes go astray
Love
Through all the ups and downs the joy and hurt
Love
For better or worse I still will choose you first

Wow, does the definition I use as my guide for love stand this test. Would I still choose love first? I have “loved” a lot of men through out my life and looking back I think I just really liked a lot of people. And honestly (I wasn’t always saved) I really lusted a lot of them. But, knowing what I know now I still don’t have a clear definition of love to share with you. So, now let’s sound off.  What is love?

Barnburner II

This morning when I posted part one I was in a hurry. I was trying to get out the door to a meeting on time and I had to get that out. I didn’t know what time I would be back or if I would remember it all. But, that post has been burning in me all day. I couldn’t shake the feeling that I had missed or forgotten something. So…

I used to be a big boxing fan not by choice though, one TV, older brother, you know the story. But, Mike Tyson was one of my favorite boxers. Today I watched one of the biggest boxing upsets ever. The fight in February 1990 between Tyson and Buster Douglas. No one expected Douglas to last into the middle rounds, much less win the fight. At the time, Tyson was considered unbeatable; he hadn’t lost in 37 bouts, had knocked out all but four opponents, and was making the 10th consecutive defense of his title against Douglas. They had counted Douglas out before the first punch was thrown. But, some where in the 9th round people began to eat their words. Buster Douglas climbed into the ring to face the most feared fighter since Sonny Liston; and he completely dominated him. Douglas never looked that good before the Tyson fight, and never looked that good again; but when opportunity knocked, he knocked him out.

Paul used images from sport to describe spiritual life. At the end of his life he stated that he had fought the good fight and kept the faith. The word fight is ‘agon in Greek and refers to the contest in a stadium where the games were held. The word good is ‘kalos’ and speaks not necessarily of moral goodness but rather of the beauty of technique used by the boxer or wrestler in the games. The words ‘have fought’ are described by the Greek word ‘agonizomai’ and means a strenuous, painful struggle, almost to the point of exhaustion, but it is a completed action in the past with present results! Wow, the FIGHT IS FIXED!!! Really it is. I know that the struggles, sleepless nights, hunger, thirst, cold, nakedness and many distresses are for the sake of Christ. Often we feel deserted and no one stands to defend us; in this life we will have to face affliction, persecution, peril but, we have to trust and know that the Lord will deliver us from the hand of the enemy.

The enemy may knock you down every now and then, but he can never knock you out! Get up and go on, the Lord is with you and will strengthen you and give you the knock out punch to deliver to the enemy who wants to destroy you! In Christ we are more than conquerors! We are victors!