Out With the Old….

…..In with the new.  This is my last post of 2008.  This year has been a trying one.  I have had many successes and many failures, but yet I press.  I decided to live a life a of “No Regrets”.  The past is the past and my future is so bright I gotta wear shades, lol.  So, here are my thoughts for the last post of the year.  God Bless and see ya in ‘09….

At ends and at beginnings, my mind is usually invaded with thoughts about the past, present, and future; failures and successes; regrets and resolutions; time and eternity; and a lot more. As we come to the beginning of a new year and the ending of an old one, we often wish we could turn over a new leaf or have a fresh start. No doubt about it, there have been certain things we have said or done in this past year that we want to relish on shoulda, coulda, woulda. Personally, I have no regrets in my life. I think that everything happens to you for a reason. It’s the hard times that you go through that build character, making you a much stronger person. God never consults your past to determine your future. So I can’t keep looking at where I have been, I must look at where I am going. I can’t live this New Year advertising my pain. I cannot move forward concentrating on my short comings. I have no regrets. I wouldn’t have lived my life the way I did if I was going to worry about what people were going to say.

I have decided to no longer allow my past to dictate what my future will look like. I am letting the past go, I am changing my outlook on things. When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us. To let go is not to try and change or blame circumstance; I can only change myself. To let go is not to cut myself off, it’s the realization that I don’t control it all. To let go is not to regret the past, but to grow and live for the future. To let go – is to let God!

We never know what the New Year will bring. We don’t know what problems we will encounter or what changes will come our way. Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves – regret for the past and fear of the future. Some people stay up until midnight to welcome the New Year. Others stay up to make sure the old year leaves! As you enter this New Year you can’t afford to let your past infect your present, or sabotage your future. Let go of the past and walk into your future. If your hands and heart are tightly clinched around the past, you can not grasp the new. You cannot move forward if you are continually looking in the rear view mirror! The past has passed, but your future is an unwritten book! You now have a choice. You can go into the New Year, taking everything with you, or you can go into the New Year trying your best to make sure the past is past and the future is for God.

Two Birds with One Stone

Man, I wish I had the time and ability to travel.  I mean really travel.  A good friend of mine will be spending her Christmas abroad.  She will be going to Bahamas and then on to Cuba.  She leaves next week and returns in January.  Bahamas I could do, but the Cuba part worries me just a little.  But, she is very adventurous… She was in Grenada last year and Africa this year.  I can’t wait till she gets back to hear the stories and see the pics.

Travelling for me has to be family vacations.  Although, I would love to take a Mommy break and get away, I would hate for them to miss something great.  I am on a mission to broaden my children’s horizons.  I treat as much as I can a teaching moment.  I can’t sit back and wait for the schools or anybody else to do it for me. So, me travelling alone is not an option, at least until my honeymoon, lol.

I  took a class this semester- Multicultural Education.  I was surprised at how diverse my kids really are.  My classmates who were predominately African American exposure level was really low.  They rarely did anything outside of the “black” experience.  I guess I am a freak.  I take my kids to everything, especially if it is free.  We attended the Celtic festival this year. My kids had a ball.  It was really neat. I want them to know about other things. The more things I introduce them to the easier it is for them to be able to hold a conversation.  I want them to know something else besides who their favorite rapper is.

I am putting it into high gear at the first of the year.  They all will be responsible weekly for a report (and I really mean report) on  a current event.  They pick one on Monday and it’s due by Friday.  I am budgeting to include more artsy stuff too.  Ballet, Opera, etc.  The youngest will probably be the most receptive.  That 16 yr old is going to have a cow.  He is upset because he has to read a book.  I ordered Hill Harper’s MANifest Your Destiny and he has to read and journal. He, a male friend, and I are going to read and journal together. Weekly we will sit down and talk about it.  He is so upset, but I don’t care. I am looking for a book for Lil Bil (8) and Tada (12).  So, if you have any suggestions let me know.

I am building a home school curriculum to supplement what they get at school.  The best teacher teaches at home.  So…. I am teaching at home. I want well rounded kids, so I have to put in some work to get it.  There are a lot of changes coming… Family Game Nite is on its way back. We had so much fun during the 11 day black out, I bought a ton of puzzles and board games to entertain them.  They loved it!! We used to do this monthly and fell off for quite awhile. My Christmas list includes some great traditional games and some educational ones.   I will keep you all posted on my progress.

Oh, Really?!?

I have been away far too long,  I have gotten the messages asking when I would post so…. I have been trying not to write.  I had to let some stuff marinate.  I have been going through a HUGE transition and it hasn’t been a simple one. I tried to stay away from writing until I got my mind right first.  I didn’t wanna write and be accused of  “Spitting Venom” thus my silence.  I had to really think about that and came to a conclusion.  This is my blog and I say what I want, if you don’t like it nobody is making you read it so… “Kick Rocks!!!”

I’ve been doing a lot of observing. I have been watching the actions and comments of people and it’s been pretty eye opening.  Really eye opening. Seeing who people really are will blow your mind. I was talking to my boyfriend about it last night and he said something I already knew but needed to be reminded of…”Folks will be folks, all you can do is pray for them.”  Thanks, J I needed that. Once I got past the shock, hurt, and then just pure anger I just laughed. Laughed because I remembered something we used to say as kids, “Sticks and stones my break my bones, but words can never hurt me.”  It sounds juvenile but when you apply it makes great sense.  It’s just words, they don’t make me and I sure won’t let them break me.

Last week I went to a self-help group and it was great. I had a chance to vent, I got some stuff off my chest and I left feeling like I could conquer the world.  Being in a room full of people who listened, didn’t judge and offered sound advice made the difference I needed that night.  It was great!! Something broke that night and I closed a door that was open for far too long.  I can now move forward and not look back, even though the darts are flying and the pull to go back is ever present, I press. I don’t care what folks think any more. You can’t judge me. The haters will hate…”Hi, Hater!!”

I love the place I am in now.  It is great!! Everything is lining up.  School is great!! Work is great!! Family is great!! Church is great!! I have a renewed outlook and I am GREAT!!! So, thanks Haters for all the love.  I really appreciate it.  You just don’t know what you’ve done for me.  The more you hate the more I know I am back on track.  Thanks!! A bit of advice for all haters…Be careful who you put your mouth on, your assumptions and comments don’t always tear down.  It may be the elevation some people need to RISE above you.