Over the last couple of weeks I have been watching the people around me. And folks are having a ROUGH time. So, I had to deviate from the planned message to type this one. Romantic relationships can be difficult to understand even in the most ideal of circumstances. If you are anything like me you would love to avoid relationship problems. Unfortunately, no matter how hard I’ve tried relationship problems seemed to hunt me down and attack me!
There are so many conflicting messages in the world about relationships that most of us don’t know what to expect or even hope for in a relationship. Some of the biggest challenges in relationships come from the fact that most people enter a relationship in order to get something. They’re trying to find someone who’s going to make them feel good. In reality, the only way the relationship will last is if you see your relationship as a place that you go to give, and not a place you go to take. The greatest advice I have ever received was this…”Don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts, and don’t put up with people who are reckless with yours.”
I almost want to talk about the common mistakes we make….but I don’t know if I want to open that can of worms today…..ummmmmm, maybe I will. So, here we go…
One of the biggest mistakes we make is Moving Too Fast. We live in a microwave society we want it fast and we want it now. The days of waiting for things appears to be over. If you take a survey of relationship problems, you will find that moving too fast is at the top of the list. In our quests to be loved and feel loved we rush into relationships with people that we wouldn’t ordinarily even talk too! Is it because we are desperate? No! It is because most of us are tired of being alone and would rather have someone with you. One day your on cloud nine, them BAM like a ton a bricks you find out that this person was far from who you thought they were. All of this could have been avoided if you took your time and got to know the person.
Another mistake is Living in a Fantasy World. Come on think about it. You have to agree with me that you have an image of what your dream person should be like? You also have to agree with me if I said you have played out several scenarios in your head of what it would be like to spend time with that person? What you are doing is living in a fantasy world. The sad part is there is a really good chance that you expect this individual to live up to your fantasy. And they are clueless to what that fantasy is. The real truth of the matter is you created a world in which this person could not live up to.
This is by all means not the be all to end all list. Just a view of a couple mistakes I’ve made and I’ve seen made. The determined pursuit of understanding will make most issues go away and give you the opportunity to solve the rest if you take a team approach to solving them together in a positive way. Keep the problem the problem and keep your relationship a priority. Problems can be a chance to learn and grow together. Talk with each other, learn and grow, and use effective problem solving methods with a positive, productive approach to life’s challenges. This will keep your loving relationship alive and happy with mutual honesty, kindness, and respect.
